Trapped in TV
by Kitsune Song
Summary: Rhea and Splash aren't looking for anything, except for some cash. They expect to have a normal job, but fate has other plans when they're sucked inside the TV at Aki's house.
1. The Monkey Wedding

"So, this is the place?" Two thirteen year old girls stood outside the home of Aki, a piece of paper clutched tightly in one's hand.

"Yup." The one who held the paper nodded. She had long brown hair and blue eyes. She was wearing a light blue t-shirt with a chocolate lab puppy on it, white capris, and a pair of black sandals.

Her friend had black hair a little past her shoulders, and had two pink pigtails up in the air. She had narrow, brown eyes. She was wearing a black tank top, a grey vest, baggy blue jeans, and a white pair of Reeboks.

The two girls, Splash and Rhea, had accepted a 'job' offering. They had found a poster asking for someone to test out Aki's newest invention. Needing the money, they phoned the number on the paper held in Splash's hand.

"Well, come on. Don't just stand there like an idiot," Rhea said in her usual monotone voice. "Let's go inside."

The door was unlocked and the two girls stepped in, looking around the place. "Cool…" Splash said, looking around the place.

"Aki? Miss Aki?" Rhea called out. "I don't think she's home…"

"Nope, she's not," Splash said from across the room, holding up a note. "See? It's from Miss Aki. She's out buying groceries, but she'll be back soon. Her new invention is in the next room. We're supposed to go in there and wait for her to get back."

Rhea nodded and headed in the next room. She found the invention on a table nearby and picked it up. "It looks like a headband…" she said, holding it up for Splash to see.

It was black and metallic. It seemed to be made of metal or something like it. At the end seemed to be earpieces much like a headphones, what they were for the girls didn't know.

"Maybe it's sort of like a portable radio, in headphone form," Rhea commented, examining every detail of the invention.

"That'd come in handy for you," Splash said. "You could listen to your depressing goth music whenever you wanted to." She smirked at Rhea's angry glare.

"For the billionth time, I'm not goth!" Rhea growled. She rolled her eyes and put the headband/headphone device on her head.

"What're you doing? You shouldn't mess with that without Miss Aki here," Splash sighed, though she put the second headband/headphone device on her head as well.

"I'll get over it," Rhea said simply. "It's not like one small sin is going to make me go to hell, you know." She began rummaging around the table, and then picked up a paper with a drawing much like the invention they were both wearing now.

"Monkey Translator Device, a.k.a. MTD," Rhea read aloud. "Allows humans to understand what monkeys say. I guess this is what Miss Aki's invention is supposed to do."

"So she wants us to see if we can understand monkeys?" Splash asked, though the answer was obvious. "Hasn't this place had quite a bit of action with monkeys? With that what's his face albino monkey. I suppose it'd make some sense why she'd build this…though I though most of those weird monkeys could already talk."

Rhea shrugged. "Must be for the lesser ones that can't talk," she said simply. She leaned back against the wall. "I'm bored. What's there to do around here?" She sighed and noticed a TV in the corner of the room.

"Hey look, TV!" she said, walking over to the TV. "What do you wanna watch?"

Splash walked over and stood next to her, both unknowingly standing on a teleporting pad. "I dunno…let's just see what's on!" She pressed what appeared to be the power button.

The TV fizzled to life, weird buzzing noises coming from it. "Must be busted," Rhea groaned, though at that moment a picture appeared on the screen. "Specter TV…what a goofy name for a channel."

Aki stepped into the room. "I'm here! Sorry about the wait…" She trailed off as she watched the TV come to life, and the two girls standing in front of it. "Wait! Get away from there!" she yelled, but it was too late.

"KYAA!" Splash and Rhea shrieked as they were sucked into the portal into the TV. In a split second, there was no sign they had ever been there except for the two pieces of paper they had held, which were slowly fluttering to the floor.

Aki sighed. "I've got to fix this…"

* * *

Splash and Rhea landed on the ground with a thud. They groaned and opened their eyes to see they weren't at Miss Aki's house anymore…

"What the heck just happened? Where ARE we?" Rhea said irritably, looking around the place.

"Maybe we shouldn't have messed with that TV…" Splash sighed. "It must've been one of Miss Aki's inventions."

"You think?" Rhea asked sarcastically. "Well, come on. Let's find out where we are." Splash nodded and they both began looking around.

"Hey…you hear that?" Splash asked. Rhea narrowed her eyes…there was a voice. At first it was a little fuzzy, but it slowly got clearer.

"Yeah…" she said. "Let's go find out who it is."

The two girls followed the voices until they reached a van. It read "Specter TV". They recognized it at once.

"Wait a minute…we're IN the TV!" Rhea shouted, shocked. "This is just our luck…" She sighed as she leaned up against the van door, and yelped as it opened. Out fluttered a paper.

"It's a channel guide," Splash said, grabbing the paper in her hands. "We must be on Channel 1, My 36th Wedding."

Rhea cocked her eyebrows and was about to grab the paper when she heard the voice they had been following in the first place.

"I'm Reporter Ukki Pia, here on the scene," a monkey spoke to another monkey who was holding a camera.

"It's talking!" Splash said in amazement. She ran a finger over the MTD on her head. "I guess Miss Aki's invention DOES work!"

"No duh," Rhea said, rolling her eyes.

"Cut! Hey you two!" Ukki Pia shouted at them. "You're interrupting my story. Now hurry up and get out of the way, and help out the rest of the news crew or something! Go interview the bride, I don't care!"

"Ahem, Mr. Ukki Pia?" the monkey with the camera said. "This is live."

Ukki Pia coughed. "Thank you, Morella…" he said nervously. Splash and Rhea gave each other an "Ooookaaay…" look, but moved out of the way.

"As I was saying… I'm here on the scene, where Salurin will be having her 36th wedding. Will bad luck happen once again, or will the groom Sarubo stay with her? We're heading to the wedding right now." Ukki Pia made a small motion for the cameramonkey, Morella, to follow him. Splash and Rhea shrugged and followed as well.

They approached a church, where the bride and groom waited. "Here we are! Our two other LESS important reporters, er…those two," Ukki Pia said, motioning to Splash and Rhea, "will be interviewing the bride and groom. Right?" He gave them a "do-what-I-say-or-else!" look.

Rhea grumbled something about what could a monkey to them, but Splash grabbed her arm and dragged her into the church.

"Why are we doing this?" Rhea growled once inside the church. "I don't want to interview some monkeys!"

"Well, what else CAN we do? We have no idea how to get back to Miss Aki's house, and maybe if we help out, one of these monkeys can tell us!" Splash said. "Now come on! Smile…wait, you don't smile…smirk and take it!" Rhea sighed but nodded.

They heard a small coughing sound behind them and turned to see the cameramonkey Morella. "Shall we get on with the interview?" she suggested. Splash and Rhea both nodded.

"I'm Splash, and this is my friend Rhea! We're going to go interview the bride, Salurin…" Splash said cheerfully to the camera. "Ah, there she is now!"

They approached the bride, who was kicking a pew with a bored look on her face. She turned around surprised and put on a happy face when she realized Splash and Rhea were standing behind her.

"Hello, Salurin. We'd like to interview you!" Splash said. "I'll start. So, Ms. Salurin, are you tired of getting married so much?"

Salurin sighed. "Oh, I got used to it after the 15th time," she said. "Though at first it WAS tiresome, having to go through all those divorces again and again." She put her hand on her forehead and sighed dramatically.

Rhea jumped in then, a little more interested now. "How does getting married so many times and then divorced again affect you?" she asked.

"Well, like I said, at first it was tiresome. But I got used to it," Salurin answered.

"But don't you feel depressed at all?" Rhea pressed. "After all, you've been married so many times, and only to get divorced later. Doesn't that make you angry? Sad?"

Salurin frowned. "Well, of course it makes me angry!" she yelled. "How would you like it if every marriage you ever had ended in failure!" Realizing she was getting too angry, she sighed and smoothed out her dress.. "Of course, I'm overreacting a bit…" she lied.

"So, do you think Sarubo is the 'right guy'?" Splash asked.

"Well, I know I'm in love with him so…" Salurin sighed dreamily. "And since its true love, I'm sure he is!"

"But haven't you felt the same way about all your other ex-husbands?" Rhea asked. "After all, you had to believe it was true love at some point, right? Haven't you told yourself this before, but they ended up leaving you? Could HE leave you?"

Salurin frowned, and opened her mouth to speak, when wedding music started to play. "Oh, well, I best be going!" she said, quickly hurrying away from the reporters.

Splash and Rhea slipped outside through a side door. Morella hurried over to film the wedding.

The front doors burst open, and you could see Sarubo and Salurin walking down the steps, though Salurin didn't look as happy as Sarubo did. They reached the bottom of the steps, and Salurin turned to face the groom.

"You're just going to leave me, aren't you!" she shouted at him. "You're just like all the others!" She growled and started shaking Sarubo viciously. "Those reporters are right, you ARE going to leave me!" And with those words, she pounced on the defenseless groom.

Splash and Rhea looked at each other. "We should get out of here," Rhea said. They slowly began edging away, and were suddenly sucked into another portal.

Meanwhile, the news crew managed to break up the fight, Sarubo constantly saying how he would never leave Salurin.

"You're right…those STUPID reporters made me this way!" Salurin growled. She turned to face the two girls, but they had disappeared. "Where'd they go? Wait 'till I get my hands on them…"

* * *

Outtakes Reel:

Hey, no one's perfect! You can never film a TV show flawlessly, so here are some of the bloopers!

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Splash and Rhea arewalking over to open the door to Aki's house. Rhea pulls on the handle but the door doesn't budge. She begins banging on the door and cussing.

"Alright, who's the wise guy who locked the door!" Kitsune growls in her director's chair. "CUT!"

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Splash and Rhea are about to turn on the TV. Splash says they should just see what's on and she turns on the TV.

"Goin' down to South Park, gonna have ourselves a time…"

"Ugh, cut…after we finish watching," Kitsune says. "Hey Rhea, turn up the volume!"

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Rhea leans up against the van door. It's supposed to open, but nothing happens. Rhea starts banging on the van door and cussing. Splash is covering her ears from the noise.

"Well, this is repetitive…" Kitsune grumbles. "CUT!"

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Splash is looking at the channel guide and reads aloud what channel they are on.

"Wait a minute…36th wedding?" Rhea asks. "Isn't there a law or something about how many times you can get married?"

"Good question. I'll look it up on Google later," Kitsune says.

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Splash is dragging Rhea towards the church. She attempts to open the door, but it's locked. Rhea starts banging on the door, AGAIN, and starts cussing, AGAIN.

"WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID THIS…!" Kitsune yells. "CUT!

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Splash and Rhea are walking over to interview Salurin, who is kicking a wall.

"Hey, you're supposed to be kicking a pew, not a wall!" Splash says.

"No one else will care! Great, now you've ruined the scene!" Salurin growls. The two start fighting, while Rhea just watches and eats popcorn.

"CUT! I need some aspirin…" Kitsune mumbles.

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Splash and Rhea…

"Hey! How come it's always 'Splash and Rhea', but never 'Rhea and Splash'?" Rhea yells.

"Fine, fine!" Kitsune growls.

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: RHEA and Splash have just approached Salurin. She turns and notices them…

"Hey! How come it just says she notices them, and not me?" Morella asks angrily. "Hey, where'd Kitsune go?"

In the secret room, you see Kitsune sitting at the table. "Hey Kankichi! Be a pal, and pass the bananas and coffee!"

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Funeral music starts playing in the background, right before Salurin has to leave.

"Ukki Ben! You're supposed to play WEDDING music!" Kitsune yells.

"Well you didn't say what kind in the script!" Ukki Ben says, waving a copy of the script in the air.

"CUT!"

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Splash and Rhea (Somewhere in the background you can hear Rhea mumbling: There she goes again…) are going to slip out of the side door on the church, but they find it…just guess. Locked. And Rhea starts banging on the door and cussing. What a surprise…

You can see a vein bulge on Kitsune's forehead. "I SWARE, WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID THIS, I'LL…"

Somewhere away from the studio, you see Jimmy laughing his head off, twirling a key in his hand. He's watching the action from a hidden camera. "Too easy…"

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Everyone is waiting for Salurin and Sarubo to come out the front doors and…they open!

"Hey, they opened this time!" Splash gasps.

Somewhere nearby, a janitor opens a closest and is surprised to find Jimmy tied up and gagged.

Kitsune whistles "innocently". "Heh heh heh…"

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Salurin is attacking Sarubo, when she yelps and starts crying.

"CUT! Salurin, what is it?" Kitsune asks annoyed.

"I broke a nail!" Salurin whines.

"What a girly girl…"

* * *

Hope you enjoyed my story so far! Sorry if I wasn't very humorous… Please review!You know you want to...Also, I do not own Ape Escape or South Park. Only Rhea and Splash. 


	2. Monkey Forest, full of idiots

Rhea and Splash opened their eyes to find themselves in a forest. "Where are we now?" Rhea asked.

"Channel two…Monkey Forest," Splash read from the channel guide. "Well, let's look around."

Rhea shrugged and the two girls began wandering aimlessly around the forest. Soon they heard a girl's singing.

"You hear that?" Splash asked. They continued walking until they reached a monkey in a red cloak, skipping around and picking flowers.

"Lalalala, it's such a beautiful day!" the monkey sang.

"Must…resist…urge…to…kill…girly monkey," Rhea muttered, balling her fists.

"Oh, hello! I'm Ukki Red! It's so nice to meet you!" Ukki Red said cheerfully. "Would you like to pick flowers with me?"

Rhea's eye twitched. "Not…resisting…well…"

"Umm…no thanks…" Splash declined. "We'll just be going now…" She and Rhea slowly began to edge away.

"Aw, ok! Maybe I should go with you!" Ukki Red said joyfully. Splash and Rhea ran away quickly.

Rhea shuddered. "What a creepy monkey…with her stupid, high-pitched voice and bubbly attitude," she growled.

"Yeah, well, let's keep going…" Splash sighed. "Hopefully we won't run into any more monkeys…"

The two girls continued walking until they reached a cottage. They looked at each other then back at it.

"Should we go inside?" Splash asked, looking at the cottage.

"Why not," Rhea said. She walked over to open the door when a monkey in a wolf costume jumped in front of her.

"Give me the picnic basket!" he growled. "Or else I'll…wait; you don't have a picnic basket!"

"No duh. What are you, blind?" Rhea said, rolling her eyes. "Why are you dressed up as a wolf?"

The monkey growled. "I am a wolf!"

"But…"

"I AM A WOLF! That's why I'm called WOLFmon! WOLFMON!"

"But what about the mon? As in monkey?" Splash asked.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter," Rhea sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Hello again!" Ukki Red's voice came from behind them. Rhea winced and her eye twitched again. "So good to see you, ha ha ha! Oh, hello Mr. Wolf!"

Wolfmon cleared his throat. "Give me your picnic basket!" he growled in a voice that didn't sound like a wolf at all.

"But Mr. Wolf, I'm going to my grandma's house!" Ukki Red said. She skipped into the cottage and gasped. "What are all of these goats doing in grandma's house?"

Rhea, Splash, and Wolfmon all walked into the cottage, where a bunch of monkeys in goat costumes were lying around.

"They're not goats, they're monkeys!" Splash pointed out.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Ukki Red said. "Can't you see their goat-like features?" Wolfmon nodded his head in agreement.

"What a bunch of nut cases," Rhea said, rolling her eyes.

"Now what are all of you goats doing in my grandma's house?" Ukki Red asked. The King of Goats, a.k.a. King Goat, stepped forward.

"This isn't your grandma's house!" he said. "Your grandma's house is the cottage next door!" He pointed out the window, where you could see another house with an old woman in it.

"Never saw that before," Splash said.

"Oh!" Ukki Red said! "Well, I guess I better get going!"

"Wait!" Wolfmon said. "Let me go there first so I can tie up your grandma and dress up as her so I can trick you into giving me your picnic basket!"

Ukki Red giggled. "Ok!" She waited a couple of minutes before skipping off to her grandma's house.

"…Let's get going before their idiotic nature rubs off on us," Rhea said.

"Agreed." So the two girls walked out of the goat filled cottage and were sucked into another portal.

* * *

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Splash and Rhea have just arrived in the forest. Rhea leans up against the tree (Even though it's not a part of the script…) and falls over because it's really just a flimsy piece of cardboard.

"Oops…" Rhea says, rubbing the back of her head.

"CUT! Don't lean up against any more trees…"

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Rhea and Splash are walking around when they hear singing.

"AHH! MY EARS, THEY'RE BLEEDING!" Rhea shouts covering her ears, as does Splash.

"HEY! I have a very good singing voice, thank you very much!" Ukki Red says.

"CUT! We'll replace her voice later…" Kitsune rubs her forehead. "Migraine…"

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Splash and Rhea have both just met Ukki Red. They're about to run away when Splash gets hit on the head with a microphone. (You know those microphone things that they use in stuff like this?)

"CUT! Kikimon, you idiot!" Kitsune growls. "Splash alright?"

Rhea's on the ground, poking Splash for no reason in particular. "She's out cold."

"Alright everybody, take five…fifteen…thirty…"

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Rhea is about to go inside the cottage when Wolfmon jumps in front of her.

"Give me the picnic basket!" he growls. "Or I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll BLOW your house down!"

"This isn't our house!" Splash points out. Rhea slaps her forehead.

"CUT! Wolfmon, that's not your line!" Kitsune growls, rubbing her forehead.

"Sorry, couldn't resist…"

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Rhea has just called Wolfmon a monkey, and not a wolf. Wolfmon says he really is a wolf.

"You are to a monkey!" Splash says, and she rips off Wolfmon's costume.

"Hey! Give that back!" Wolfmon says, jumping for the costume.

"CUT! Splash, we all know he's really a monkey…" Kitsune moans, shaking her head. "Just say your lines from the script…"

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Ukki Red walks into the cottage and gasps. Splash, Rhea, and Wolfmon follow her in. They see all of the monkeys in goat costumes drinking wine.

"And then hic I said…" King Goat says, talking to another monkey. He looks at all the others who've just walked in. "Oh, are we hic rolling?"

"CUT! Yes, we are, but it appears you're DRUNK!" Kitsune groans.

**O U T T A K E S R E E L**

Scene: Ukki Red is about to go to her grandma's house when Wolfmon stops her.

"Hey, how come my character has to be an idiot?" Ukki Red complains.

"Because she is! Now say your line right!" Kitsune growls.

* * *

Sorry for the awfulness of this chapter…not very good, I had a hard time righting it. Well, hopefully the next chapter will be better…hopefully. 


End file.
